Mary has been living as a single woman in the Middle East for nearly seven years in three different countries. This life comes with its challenges, but after years of teaching and making friends, the unique joy of cross-cultural community comes through as she talks about her life overseas.
Before she heard about ELIC, Mary was looking into jobs as a Teacher’s Assistant or School Secretary, but she said, “Honestly though, I hoped to get married and be a mom.” This love of children was a part of what drew her toward a career as an overseas English teacher.
On an aid trip to Greece before she discovered ELIC, Mary connected with a family of Syrian refugees (a population our teachers have been honored to support with English education throughout the Middle East).
I remember walking into a room where three children were fighting and a mother was holding a small [sick] child…She looked hopeless. I found a translator and brought them some water and clothes. The translator was able to get a doctor…I played with the children and practiced English with them. That was one of the only times I saw the mother smile because I believe she saw the hope in her children. I knew then that I wanted to return and that English was an avenue to do that.
After living in the region for some time, Mary has adjusted to parts of her host cultures that might take Westerners by surprise at first.
I love bidets. They aren’t super common in the States but are more sanitary. Also, the traditional clothing. They are handmade and you can choose the fabric. I feel like a princess when I wear mine!
These traditional outfits brought the unexpected cultural discovery that, “Some women who usually [cover their heads] will uncover when wearing traditional clothing or special occasions.”
Mary has learned all kinds of insights like this by building connections in the local community. This is not always an easy task for women (especially foreigners) but it’s far from impossible.
One of my closest local friends [started as] a student of another teacher who was in my city. I have also made friends with women at local businesses like a coffee shop or the salon. Asking for help is always a great way to connect when you are out. Neighbors have reached out in hospitality and I have reciprocated. We have the sweetest neighbors. On rare occasions, random people will invite me for dinner and insist I stay. Since I have been here for more than a year, the teaching staff has been more [ready to be friends]. It takes time to build trust in the community here. [As women] we have to be more creative than single men or families to make friends and connect in the community. It can be lonely at times because many of the women are busy in the household.
The cultural expectations for women in Mary’s host culture definitely took some getting used to.
A lot of things that we would consider our right in the West would be seen as un-cultural or counter-cultural here. We have to give these up [to build community] and rapport. We give up things like the freedom to go places whenever we want, to enter every building, to sit at any table in some restaurants, or how we dress.
But even with such dramatic cultural differences, Mary has found a great deal of joy in her life and work.
Living overseas has many challenges, but [I have felt great care] in small moments—a student offering to give me a ride home when I was exhausted, an encouraging word from a student when teaching felt challenging, an invitation when loneliness set in. I love getting to know the people and their huge hearts full of hospitality. They invite me on picnics to share their beautiful culture, we spend time together for hours instead of minutes and enjoy traditional dancing at weddings. I can’t say that I love all of the food, but there are dishes that I consider to be amazing! I love eating Dolma, Biryani, Kifta, and other specialty dishes. The value placed on history here is inspiring and the people have shown so much resilience in life. I love listening to their stories. I am so honored to be a part of their community.
Mary hadn’t planned on a career overseas, but she was drawn to the potential to help people improve their lives through English education. Unexpected experiences became familiar, and she adjusted to the challenges of this cross-cultural life. She has been able to make a difference for her students just as this beautiful place has made a difference in her. If you are interested in teaching overseas, we’d love to talk to you about what that could look like!
