What draws two Americans with vastly different backgrounds to the same, purposeful life in China, and to each other?
Clara grew up overseas; it's part of what drew her to China. She says:
Growing up overseas, I lived in an impoverished rural area and was curious what it would be like to work in a city overseas. There’s a lot that’s kept me coming back to China, but that’s what started it.
Ever since I was a kid, I’ve wanted to live overseas. An advisor pointed me towards TESOL when I was looking at college majors, and I’ve never looked back.
Tom, on the other hand, planned on a career in business. But he was fascinated with China.
Growing economy, interesting language, long history, and like the US, there are many cultures and subcultures across ages, regions, and economic status—I knew somebody who was an [overseas] teacher, and it seemed like a good way to be involved in the culture.
And with that, cue the romantic music! Clara told us all about their “meet cute” at ELIC teacher training:
I didn’t know anyone, and the two guys behind me in line seemed friendly. I also thought one of them was cute, so I turned around to introduce myself. Tom was the one talking to the guy I thought was cute!
It would be a couple of years before she realized Tom was really the one for her. Now, as a new family, they are learning the ropes of life together overseas.
We started life overseas as single teachers, and so we are still getting used to the rhythms of family life here. We recently added a second baby to our family and are thankful for the support of extended family, our team, and our local community as we’ve adjusted to being a family of four overseas.
With years of collective experience, they have some wise advice for other couples considering starting their own adventure overseas:
Knowing one another well has been the biggest help as we’ve made big decisions on where to live (during Covid) and adjusted to life in lots of different locations. We’re also pretty flexible in roles and who does what. Lots of communication is key!
Tom and Clara have been in China long enough now to find the favorite things they miss when they return to visit the States:
Tom: High-speed rail, we love it
Clara: Hot pot and KTV [epic Chinese karaoke]
They’ve come a long way from when they first moved overseas! Clara talks about the challenge of learning to navigate a new place.
When I first landed, I was illiterate. I didn’t realize until that point how much I read everything around me in English. It was really disorientating.
Now, after over a decade for both of them, how long they've been in China isn't such a simple question anymore.
It’s hard to say. If you count your foot in the country for any part of the year as a year, then 15 years for Tom and 20 years for Clara. A while back, Tom’s school asked him to total up each day he spent in China, which changed how he counts time overseas. By that measure, he’s spent six and a half years overseas. We both joined this organization in 2014.
And in that time, they’ve found great ways to connect and built some beautiful, long-lasting friendships!
English activities at our university help us connect with students outside of class. We also started an English conversation time for teachers at our university, and some sweet friendships have blossomed from those connections. Inviting students and colleagues into our home for meals is fun too.
This past semester, I messaged one of my former students to catch up, and we ended up inviting her to come live with us for a month while she waited on paperwork. Opening our home to her opened up so many opportunities to share life together. She shared her grief at her grandmother’s recent passing, we discussed how the new generation in China views marriage, and we stayed up late talking about the differences between China and America as she prepares to move there. Our toddler got a live-in playmate who can read her both English and Chinese books. She taught us how to make dumplings, and we taught her how to make banana bread and pizza. It was so special to have time with this dear friend!
In the end, that’s what they have found most rewarding:
The relationships that longevity in a place brings.
That’s why, on this journey from two single teachers to two kids together, Tom and Clara committed to finding new ways to connect with their community as a family of four. And at the end of the day, even with the challenges, they’re convinced it’s good for all of them.
I love giving my kids the experience of growing up overseas. I really enjoyed growing up overseas myself, and even though our contexts are about as different as you can get, it brings me joy to see my kids embracing airplane travel, speaking multiple languages, and learning to love the Chinese people.
To find out more about how Tom and Clara ended up overseas and how to start your own journey, explore the teaching opportunities currently available in amazing countries all over Asia, the Middle East, and North Africa.
