With all that’s going on in the world these days, we inevitably have some assumptions baked into our brains when we try to picture life in the Middle East. And, while these assumptions are probably based in some measure of truth, reality is always more complex than the picture we get from social media and the news.
Many of us are looking for a clearer picture for all kinds of reasons. Maybe you’re interested in travelling to the Middle East one day. Maybe you just want to honor people from around the world by trying to understand them better. Or maybe you’re seriously considering teaching overseas with ELIC.
Even if we’re aware that the images in our heads don’t tell the whole story, how are we to know what’s real and what’s rumor? How can we get a more accurate picture?
Lucky for us at ELIC, we can just ask someone who lives there! Kathryn (name changed for her privacy) is a foreign teacher in Iraq, and since she is originally from North America, she’s been through the journey of having her preconceived notions collide with real, on-the-ground experiences.
Expectations Met and Molded
Before moving to Iraq, Kathryn had only second-hand reports and the news for reference. She writes,
I was fairly concerned about safety and the possibility of getting caught in the middle of a war… I think the picture the news media had painted was one of danger around every corner. I was also concerned about how men in this culture would treat women, particularly a foreign, single woman.
What those depictions didn’t include was the genuine goodwill of the people she would meet in Iraq.
I knew going in that hospitality was a value for Kurds, but I was expecting it to be more like a quid pro quo… I wasn’t expecting the over-the-top and get-offended-if-you-try-to-reciprocate generosity that I've experienced. For example, it doesn't matter how many times I explain to my friend's mom that I am one person, I cannot eat the amount of rice and chicken she's sending home with me before it goes bad, she'll always reply, "But you can't go home empty handed!!"
Kathryn knew there would be a cultural division between men and women, but she didn't have a grasp of what that would actually look like. And while she says, “The line is still much stronger than in the US or anywhere else I've lived,” she also notes that “Things are less strongly divided by gender here than I expected.”
As an example, she talks about meeting families with daughters.
When it comes to their daughters, I expected ambivalence because daughters require a dowry, a woman's word is still legally weighted less, and a bride belongs to her husband's family after she gets married.
Yet, I've heard so many stories of my friends' fathers who defended their right to study and who [take joy] in their daughters, or husbands who stand up for their wives… I recently learned about the father of my close friend, who can neither read nor write, but every single one of his 14 children, girls included, was encouraged to study all the way up through college.
Real Challenges, Real Solutions
There are plenty of examples like this, where the reality proved much softer than it seemed in theory. Even so, there are some genuine safety concerns for teachers living in the Middle East. One of our main focuses as we care for the teachers we send is equipping and supporting them well to face those challenges as safely as possible. We do this through:
Country and region-specific security training
An experienced and attentive safety team
Additional, external security partners with decades of experience to help us get an accurate picture of what is going on in the region and advise on how our teams can respond wisely and safely.
Through all the global unrest and the crises that have inevitably arisen in our host countries over the past 45 years, our teachers have been protected. With six years of life in Iraq under her belt, Kathryn has experienced this firsthand.
While there have been some pretty serious incidents in my years of being on the team here, from floods to missiles being launched, the airports being shut down, and teammates having to evacuate, they also, surprisingly, didn't really affect our daily life much.
The floods were scary, but I stayed the night at my friend's house, and both the government and locals advised me about when it was safe to go home. We had training about what to do in that situation.
The missiles were scary, but we evacuated the team in that city, and in a week, everything settled down, and it hasn't happened again.
Having the airports shut down is deeply inconvenient, but it shows an awareness on the part of the airlines, knowing what they can safely ensure for you.
But for every scary memory, there are three more that are happy, involving food and laughter and people who are willing to give the shirts off their backs to help me. The owners of the small grocery store next to me refuse to let me carry my own groceries home. There are picnics on green mountains, dancing all day on holidays, and so much delicious food!
If I've learned anything in life, it's that you can't avoid risk. You can mitigate it through training, preparation, and common sense, but you'll never remove all of it. I know why I'm here, and to me, it's worth it.
Is It Worth the Challenge?
Kathryn says the most challenging thing about living where she does is learning to stay culturally appropriate and still be herself.
As time has gone on, I've figured out ways to be more me while still being culturally appropriate, but it's tiring to constantly check: are my elbows covered? Is this a cafe where women are allowed? I don't know; I don't see any women, but what if I'm just the first one here?
And yet, for Kathryn, the cost is worth it. She shared her favorite story of what, for her, is most rewarding about her life and work in Iraq.
The most rewarding thing has been seeing my students learn and grow. My favorite story is from my Academic Writing class. We were writing an essay, and one student finished quite early and said, "Miss, I'm done!" I came over to check his work and asked where his other two body paragraphs were. He seemed confused and said, "But I have five full stops. I'm finished." I pointed out that it was five full stops in EACH paragraph. His response was "Walla, Miss! This is a disaster!" By the end of the year, he wrote a paper that interwove four different sources, tying everything together (something that's difficult even for native speakers).
When I reminded him of his struggle at the beginning of the year, but that now, he had gotten 19/20 and was ready to write his 20-page senior thesis next year, that 6'3" Kurdish man blushed so hard he looked like a tomato and simply said, "Thank you, Miss."
I have hundreds of other stories of the lightbulb finally clicking and another student realizing they can do it, and that their thoughts are worth hearing, but this one is definitely my favorite.
Advice For Women Considering the Middle East
When I asked Kathryn what she’d say to a woman who is thinking about teaching in the Middle East, she had some wonderful words of advice:
You should talk to women who already live here. Let them give you the real picture of what it's like. Read lots of books that share stories. Ask lots of questions, and don't be shy to advocate for yourself and what you'll need in order for life to be sustainable. It is hard here… and it will require sacrifice from you, but it's also fun, surprising, and full of joy.
If you’re interested in exploring the opportunities to live and work overseas with the support of our team, we would love to hear from you! You can learn more about the countries where we teach, or let us know you’re interested, and we'll reach out with more information.